What Have I Done?
What Have I Done?
Laura Dockrill had an idyllic pregnancy and couldn’t wait to meet her new baby. But as she went into labour things began to go wrong and Laura started to struggle. A traumatic birth, anxiety about the baby, sleep deprivation, a slow recovery – all these things piled up until Laura felt overwhelmed. As many as 8 out of 10 new mums struggle in the weeks after birth. In Laura’s case these feelings escalated scarily quickly into post-partum psychosis. She became paranoid and delusional and had to be institutionalised for a fortnight without her baby. Throughout this time she was haunted by a sense of: ‘What have I done?’. Laura’s experience was devastating but this is a hopeful book. Not only has Laura slowly recovered she has come out the other side stronger and more assured about parenting on her own terms.
'Such a raw, honest and important book' Giovanna Fletcher
Like any new mum, Laura Dockrill felt rather overwhelmed after the birth of her son. But a slow recovery, sleep deprivation and anxiety quickly escalated into postpartum psychosis, and she had to spend a fortnight in a psych ward, separated from her family. It was only when Laura began to put her ordeal into words that she began to find herself again, and recovery seemed within reach.
This is Laura's raw, honest and life-affirming story of how she made it through one of the most frightening experiences a mother can face. Now, she wants to break down the silence around postnatal mental health, shatter the idealised expectations of perfect motherhood, and show all new struggling parents that they are not alone.
'A book to save a whole generation of women' Adele
A pleasure to read...I didn't want to put it down. If anyone is going through a similar experience it will make them feel less alone' Philippa Perry
'A humbingly honest and human war report from the front lines of mothering psychosis and recovery; there is no other book like it' Caitlin Moran
'An incredibly powerful book' Jessie Ware
'This book will give women and their families confidence that the brain and body will heal' Dr Jessica Heron, CEO of Action on Postpartum Psychosis
'An amazing read' Fiona Telford, postpartum psychosis survivor